sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize