just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
