We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
