Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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