chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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