There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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