I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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