I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
