ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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