I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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