I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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