is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
