I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
