My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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