I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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