Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
