So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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