He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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