dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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