Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What drink are we having for lunch?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize