Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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