I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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