I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
