Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
