I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
