I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize