I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
