Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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