paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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