you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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