I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
