She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize