I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
