i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
