Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
