I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize