Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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