Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
