I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
