thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
