Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
