Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
