I wish I could punch you in the face.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
