Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
