I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You're a waste of cheezeits
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
