I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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