god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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