Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Small penises have feelings too.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
