so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Randomize
