honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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