U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
