Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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