I looked at my own cervix.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
