the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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