margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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