I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
