The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize