Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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