I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
