phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
