I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
