I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
